05 December 2014

Finding a Balance. Feeling the Love.

The fallout from my family's drama intensified as February continued. We established new rules where my parents talked to each other, my brother and I talked to each other and I talked to my parents. My parents & brother had no direct contact, despite living on the same coast and in the same time zone. Any messaging was passed through me and boiled down to just the content. For me, it was both the easiest and most inconvenient solution. Yes, there were messages nearly every day, mostly coordinating child care. There was a lot of "I'll check, let me call you back." My call history was page after page of alternating calls. And I preferred that over simultaneous incoming calls, with two or more people racing to share their side of the argument. There weren't any arguments at all, but all the negative or passive aggressive statements stayed with me.

It was exhausting, and there were times when I just did not want to answer my phone. I know it wasn't fair to me, but I didn't trust anyone else to find a reasonable solution. My brother needed childcare. My parents and little sister needed to see my niece and nephew. I was able to coordinate all of the positive and eliminate the negative. It was good and it was terrible and I would do it all again.

My parents and my brother needed that separation. He had to learn to take care of his family on his own and my parents needed to let him. Derek had never been fully independent before and the price of that dependence was a lot of parents telling him what do unsolicited advice. They needed a clean break and they got one, so that's a plus. Also, talking nearly every day brought me and Derek a lot closer. Double plus.

All of that happened while I was still living my life. It was an embarrassing situation to explain, but sometimes the timing made explaining unavoidable. I did not get a week to get my family sorted while my already full life was place on hold. I had things to do and I continued to do them.

22 February 2014

I went back to Vegas.

Melissa the Reporter (who was Melissa the Small Business Owner at this point) had a baby shower. I hadn't been to Vegas in a while and I was really excited to have a non touristy reason to visit. Plus, the occasion meant we were getting a large part of the gang back together.

Pregnant + adorable = Melissa

Everyone can & should be this afraid to play the "measure the belly" game.
We should ban on this.

Go home animals. You're drunk.
Totally unnecessary.

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