I'm growing up. Rather, I am becoming a grown up.
We're rapidly approaching that time when, instead of asking "what do you want to be when you grow up," people will simply ask "what do you do?" You may think they already do that, and you'd be half right.
Lately it's a mixture of "what do you do?" and "where do you work?" See the difference? It could be I don't seem grown up enough to have decided what I want to be. But I am getting older. I'm growing into adulthood and I think that means it's about time to decide what I'm going to be. Fortunately for my own deep-seated sense of obligation, I think I'm just about there. I've finally found the combination of things that make me happy every time. Don't get me wrong. I love producing. I've just realized I loved it more the way I used to do it. There are probably dozens of interpretations for that and you can apply whichever one makes you feel the way you want to feel. The reality is varying amounts of time, different techniques, and evolving technology have dulled my game. And I was born to be sharp.
No I'm not saying I'm working to abandon producing. I would actually say the opposite is true in that I want to do more producing. However I've had two significant epiphanies. There are other things I love to do. I have the ability to do them. They're not glamorous and probably won't save the world or be remembered as my greatest contributions to society, but they'll leave me with a sense of pride and satisfaction. And at this stage in my life, I think that's all I want. Get ready to be underwhelmed.
I want to organize. I love organizing. I love bringing some kind of order to some sort of chaos. There are some, like Mr. Man (he's another story) who think it beneath me. No, he hasn't said that, but I sense it whenever we talk about it. He wants to know why I would spend time creating a clearing that is only temporary. I tried to tell him it was about more than that. He did not get it. My dad also does not understand. "So you're going to clean people's closets for money?" My dad will actually only accept it if I'm organizing the homes of celebrities on a reality TV show, which he sees is California's only export.
I want to help people embrace and understand the power of social media. It's been good to me, and I think it could be the same for everyone. I've communicated with strangers and received responses from companies and truly had my voice heard. Social media has made the world a significantly smaller place. It just doesn't make any sense for anyone to be left out. I want to take all the techno-wallflowers and show them the cyber dance floor is welcoming. I recently sat down with a former coworker and showed him Twitter. I watched as he understood and became comfortable with it. I gave him confidence. That gave me smiles.
So these are things I see myself doing, in the not too distant future of adulthood. I'm excited in a way I haven't been in a long time. I think it has a lot to do with offering something to others. There's the idea I have skills or knowledge that others a) don't possess but that b) they want. It makes me feel good. So I'm going to explore that.