Technically all was as it should have been the day after the wedding. Jesse had been recovered and we were set to take a family vacation. Still, I was furious. And when I'm furious, I clean. I tidied our hotel room, made sure the rented tuxes and shoes were in the right bags, checked corners, folded towels and compiled trash. I was lost in my cleaning - so much so I did not notice Ty spending $30 on Nickelodeon On-Demand. In my defense, Derek & Nesha didn't either. We shuffled down to the lobby and I went to get breakfast for everyone. By the time I got back, it was time to head to the pier.
We waited in line at the dock for what felt like forever. And I was still furious. I was waiting for an apology. And had yet to hear it. My dad (bless his heart) kept asking "What's the matter? How do you feel? Do you have a headache." Eventually I hear Derek explained what my dad could apparently not see. We wound our way onto the ship and into our rooms. We made dinner plans and hit the pool. Hours later (after finding our luggage outside a room that was not mine) we unpacked and I unloaded. I couldn't believe he wasn't sorry, that he hadn't explained and was just choosing to stay quiet. He said I had it wrong, that he was sorry and felt terrible about everything. I believed him and I think I started to forgive him. I mean who wants to be angry on vacation. He did not mention that he had decided to dump me and would only be pretending to be my loving boyfriend for another week. I can't decide if that was chivalry or selfishness. Yes, I went on having fun with my family (ignoring the disturbance in the force), but he also got to sever our relationship and cauterize his wounds while lulling me into a false sense of security so he could more easily hit me with a bus. I will not be bitter. I will not be bitter. I will not be bitter.