15 June 2009

Kateapalooza (iv) | Free Men & Firemen

On Saturday Kate & I reached our goal of absolute laziness. We're busy people. We're always on some adventure or doing some project. We typically don't waste a lot of time. I'm not sure why, (and I'm worse than she is) we just don't spend a lot of time relaxing. But last Saturday, we took a stand to sit down. I didn't even exercise. It was after 3AM when we went to bed. When my eyes opened at 6:15, I gave my body a firm "no," and went back to sleep. Later we made pancakes & sausage, and I assume we watched golf. Ross watches golf like I watch cartoons. Who am I to judge?

Kate suggested we organize the garage. I love organizing. Plus, Ross had recently installed overhead storage bars, so it was a new project altogether. I thought about it, but remembered I was taking a stand. So we went to visit Melissa. She has a Wii. Despite all the Wii fanciness, we played Super Mario Bros., and had the best time ever.

I used to play all the time with my brother and cousins when I was little. I don't think I've seen the princess since. But Mario Bros. is like a flu vaccine -- once I grabbed the controller, (and my brain recognized something familiar) my body took over. I remembered more than I thought I would. I remembered where to jump to find the free men. I remembered how to run & slide. I remembered the tunnels that had coins. I remembered the Warp Zones I preferred to skip. I remembered I'm terribly slow inside the castles. It was completely autoimmune. And just so you know, we're not stuck in the past. We also played The Price is Right. We got to pick our players. The only black option was a woman with crazy hair who clapped like a seal. Really? I should write a letter.

Kate setting up the game.

While Kate & I played, Melissa was getting beautiful(er). Sometimes she really is too pretty. But this was the day of the firefighter auction, so she had good reason. The woman sharing the stage with eligible firefighters has to be able to hold her own. Melissa was ready for the challenge.

Three hours later, (no, I don't know what Kate was doing) we left for the auction. As Kate and I share a brain, I can tell you what we were both expecting. We expected a stage full of firemen being presented to a room full of cougars. We expected mostly decent looking men, with a few stellar exceptions. We expected older, wealthy women deserving of our censure. We were prepared to appreciate the men and mock the desperate women trying to buy and seduce them. We did not expect other firefighters to be there, wearing their uniforms and mingling with the crowd. And we certainly did not expect our reaction to seeing the aforementioned firefighters up close. Yes. We giggled like school girls and purred like kittens.

I can't tell you much about the women, just that there was a sea of them. The two most important of course being the emcees, Dayna & Melissa. Kate & I only decided to go to the auction because they were hosting. We stood near them waiting for the auction to start (it's important to let people hit the bar before asking them for money) and we were there as firefighter after firefighter introduced himself and talked about blah and blah. Kate & I enjoy this part about our on-camera friends. People (in this case well sculpted fire fighting bachelors) are drawn to them. And Kate and I are just there. We don't have to be funny or witty, because no one cares about us. We can just observe. It's nice.

Dayna & Melissa left. The auction started and I found my cougar-esqe instincts. The men who were "eh" on paper were "woah" in the flesh. I didn't get their names or hobbies -- and I'm okay with that. I will say each did his best to keep the crowd excited. They all came out to a song and did a dance. Sometimes that dance involved the removal / ripping of clothing. I think I actually felt the surge of estrogen rushing up to the stage.



Jim.
(Trouble. Also, that woman behind him kept yanking at his suspenders.)

Jim's badge.
(Kate's hands. I only mention it because she's petite.)


The $3,000 man.
(We touched. We did not bid.)

Jim again.
(Did I mention he had a nestea / vodka flask in his pocket?)

Fire.
(Don't worry. I felt safe at all times)


Afterward, Kate & I went to Ghostbar. We didn't last long. It was too cold to sit outside and too expensive to sit inside. And let's face it. Nothing was going to top what we had already seen. Some of the firefighters had started putting on their regular clothes. And you know what? They weren't as attractive.

I talked to some of my friends. We plan to go back next year and do it right. Maybe even place a bid or two. I mean, since it's for charity and all.

Reminder: I'm running in the Nike Women's Marathon as a fundraiser to fight Leukemia & Lymphoma. Please support me by donating here

Thank you!