31 July 2008

Why I'm Not Losing Weight

I'm not losing weight for you (strangers) to accept me. I'm not losing weight so you (woman in that other department) can tell me my clothes are too big. I'm not losing weight so you (plumpy plump) can stop me to discuss what hasn't worked for you. I'm not losing weight so you (chunky chunk) can tell me how hungry you are. I'm not losing weight to be your inspiration, motivation, or to provide determination.

I'm losing weight for me (Danie) because I want the body of an action movie hero. I have a hope to one day be off of medication regulating my blood pressure. I want to be healthy. I don't want to get winded easily. I don't want my weight to be an issue if I want to get on a ride. I don't want to weigh more than my boyfriend.

I do not pretend to be an expert on weight loss. It's taken me nearly two years to come as far as I have and it hasn't been consistent along the way. Yes I've learned a lot about food and nutrition, and yes I plan to write a book about it all someday. But there's no reason to stop me and let me know you've been staring at me. I understand people notice. And - to an extent - it's good to know my hard work is evident. But there's a difference between a friend saying "you look good," and a coworker saying "I'm glad you're finally wearing clothes that fit you." It's just awkward to think people are keeping tabs on me.

And while I'm thinking about it, I'm not studying Muay Thai so you (insecure man) can avoid eye contact and watch my breasts bounce. That's the best way to get my best roundhouse right to your ribs.