13 May 2008

Time To Purify

I've decided not to eat for the next five days. This will begin tomorrow (14 May) and end Monday (19 May). This will be for the benefit of my health.

My stomach has been less than pleasant lately. It's been seizing, cramping, and aching -- while my intestines have remiss in some of their duties. I tried all the usual tricks to get my innards working properly (laying on the exercise ball, eating grapes, drinking espresso) and nothing worked. I called my mother for advice, and she prescribed apple juice.

I do not like apples. I don't like apple slices. I don't like apple sauce. And I especially do not like apple juice. I do however love apple pie, apple crisp, and apple tarts (maybe that's where my waistline went wide) but not apple juice. Buying and drinking apple juice was my last hope. I did as I was told. And after some serious seizing, shifting pain, and early hope -- I was still stuck in the same boat. Then (while rolling around on the floor) it occurred to me that less could get me more.

I decided to do the M'lis Detoxification Program. It's basically the master cleanse with added fiber. I first did it years ago in Fargo for three days. I did it again with Crystal last spring for five days, but without the fiber. I had positive experiences both times, despite naysayers and food-pushers. I've never started with an upset stomach, or felt that I had definite impurities to expunge, but there's a first time for everything.

So my prepared lunches for this week will have to hold. Obviously my stomach needs a break. I think it'll be easy - since my stomach is truly in pain. The hardest part will be the guff from my beloved friends and coworkers. Bring it.