09 February 2008

Jesse Is Leaving Me

Jesse is going to Thailand. He leaves Las Vegas Tuesday and Los Angeles on Wednesday. He'll be gone for 5 or 6 weeks, depending on who you ask. I say six. He says five. It's six. Anyway, that's the headline. Now let me tell you the other stuff.

Jesse told me in December that he wanted to quit his job and do something "a little irresponsible." He gave me several reasons and I'm not sure if it was what he said, or the way he said it - but I was convinced that the best thing for Jesse to do was quit his job and travel. So I told him I supported his decision. And then I cried.

I'm going to miss him. We're not fighting. He's not leaving in a huff. I'm not trying to have my own solo adventure. He's just going. I don't know what I'll do with the time. We've been hanging out, not dating, and dating for a long time. I've made a lot of plans as a "we." Now I'll be an "I" for more than a month. It's strange. Still, part of me is excited about the uncertainty.

I've given myself a list of things to accomplish while he's gone. Fact is -- Jesse is my biggest distraction. Who knows? I could write a book or something while he's gallivanting.

It's not like other trips we've had apart. We probably won't get to talk at all. I'm not sure where he'll be, or even if he'll have internet access. He's flying blind as they say, and that means so am I. His adventure will give me my adventure. And that's exciting.